By Sharon Akose
In Western Kenya, dowry ceremonies have been part of marriage for many years. They bring families together and show respect.
But today, many young people are changing how it is done. They say love matters more than how much money or cows are paid.
Before, the man’s family had to bring cows, goats, or a lot of cash to show they were serious. Now, some couples feel the cost is too high and makes marriage hard.
“We are not against our culture,” says Brian Otieno from Emuhaya. “But when some families ask for over two hundred thousand shillings, it becomes business instead of a blessing.”
His wife, Lydia Achieng, says they chose a simpler way. “We just brought small gifts and prayers. What matters is respect, not money.”
Some elders, however, still believe dowry ‘payment should be accorded the respect it deserves.’ Mzee Peter Mukuna, an elder from Vihiga, says dowry is a sign of appreciation. “In our time, dowry joined families. It was not punishment but a way to say thank you to the bride’s family,” he said.
Church leaders on the other hand want a middle ground. Pastor John Nyang’au from Kisumu says, “We must keep our culture, but we should not make marriage too expensive. Young people also deserve to start life without debt.”
Now, many families are mixing the old and the new. They are keeping the meaning of dowry but ‘doing away with pressure,’ which they are not sure if it ‘increases or decreases.’