University student opens up on family neglect, how he resorted to begging for survival

By Laurine Jepchirchir

Michael (not his real name) is the first born in a family of four children, having grown up in a clan-system

society in Kapseret town, Uasin Gishu county.

Before joining Turbo High School, he never knew that his parents may one day abandon and leave him to fend for himself at the tender age of 17.

While in form two, his parents reportedly stopped paying his accommodation, urging him to ‘become a man’ and fend for himself.

“When I realized my parents had somehow cast me out, I started fending for myself although it was not easy. I was still young at that time, so I would do gigs, look for manual work like in farms and even construction sites commonly known as Mjengo. Sometimes I even used to go to my peers’ houses to ask for jobs,” he narrated.

As a result, concentration in class became difficult leading to a dip in his academic performances.

The side hustles he said, were helpful and skeptical at the same time, since most of his peers would make fun of him.

“It reached a point where I would go round the shopping centers begging for food. Some people were kind enough to help but others were not so welcoming,” added Michael.

And then, his parents stopped paying his school fees compounding his challenges.

“I felt embarrassed that in a whole class of 60, I was always the one being cited for not paying fees. I felt neglected and depressed and on one occasion I wanted to end my life.”

Amidst the confusion on the next course of action, he reached out to his aunt who is abroad. She took up the responsibility of paying his fees.

She finished High School and joined the University of Eastern Africa Baraton. He is a fourth-year student, pursuing networking. He is yet to mend his relationship with his parents.

From his experience, Michael believes that many men are discriminated upon in a way, with the trend being set through boys being disregarded by their parents and society, compared to girls.

“I had this schoolmate in primary who had the same case as mine. The situation forced him to be a cyberbully just to earn a living. However, it did not end well with him as he was arrested,” he recalled.

“Men should learn to acknowledge their challenges and reach out to people for support. The society should show love and affection for the boy as it does to the girl child,” he adds.

Gender Based Violence (GBV) has been a phenomenon deeply rooted in gender inequality with cases of women violations getting the limelight.

It however turns out that men also suffer from gender-based violence, and little has been done or is being done to support them.

Statistics support that women make up the majority of victims of gender violence and discrimination. The question is, what about the men and boys who are silent victims?

According to a study by the Peace Research Institute of Oslo, men suffer the most when it comes to conflicts in society, given their gender roles as potential fighters and soldiers.